I · want · to · be · the · girl · with · the · most · cake

"I hate Erma," I told Mom.
"You have to show compassion for her," Mom said. 
"Erma can't let go of her misery," Mom said.  "It's all she knows."  She added that you should never hate anyone, even your worst enemies.  "Everyone has something good about them," she said.  "You have to find the redeeming quality and love the person for that." 
"Oh yeah?" I said.  "How about Hitler? What was his redeeming quality?"
"Hitler loved dogs," Mom said without hesitation.

I burned my diary in 10th grade after my mother read it and then punished me for my thoughts. I lit fire to it in our sink and then tried to wash the ashes down the drain. However, I'd failed to consider how the cloth cover would burn and almost broke our garbage disposal in the process. Then I became worried that I'd be in trouble for breaking the disposal. My anxiety became mixed into my hatred for my mother as swiftly as the smoke filled the room.

She lives in this house over there,
has her world outside it.
SCRABBLES IN the earth with her fingers
and her mouth--she's five years old.
Thread worms on a string,
keeps spiders in her pocket,
collects fly-wings in a jar scrubs horse flies
and pinches them on a line.
She's got one friend, he lives next door.
They listen to the weather.
He knows how many freckles she's got;
she scratches his beard.
She's painting huge books,
glues them together,
They saw a big raven;
it glided down the sky--she touched it.
Today's a BIRTHDAY they're SMOKING cigars,
He got a chain of flowers,
sows a bird in her knickers,
they're SMOKING cigars,
lie in the bathtub,
chain of flowers.

Thanks to the rain, I happened to be flipping through all 23 of my channels this weekend when I came across this little gem. If you like zany cartoons that are funny on many levels, you should definitely check it out for yourself.

Chuck E. Cheese parties are all the rage these days. We have been to three in the last two months. I must say that Emileigh loves them, although I personally find them to be particularly jarring. In fact, I view my escorting her to Chuck E. Cheese parties almost like some sort of valiant badge of motherhood. I'll take my honor where I can find it.

Chuck E. Cheese is a garish frenzy of lights, noise, and music. And as if that, the excitement of dancing with an over-sized rodent, and the swarms of teeming children everywhere I turned wasn't enough to test my tenuous nerves, at this last rat soiree, I had more than one uncomfortable conversation with someone I was unable to avoid. They graduated from bad to worse, culminating with this last happy exchange, prior to which somehow the topic turned to the news that Emileigh's dad is getting married.

Her: He is getting married again?
Me: Oh, yeah, in June.
Her: *surprised look*
Her: Huh
Me: *puzzled look*
Her: Well, it is just so... I mean, I don't have any personal *experience* with it of course, but, huh, I mean usually you think if someone is divorced, it's because they can't commit. But this... huh.
Me: Well. Maybe it was just me.
Her: *nervous laughter*
Her: Yeah.